This weekend was a rather peculiar weekend for me, as I did not go to gym at all.
On Saturday, went to the mall for window shopping and hanging out at the bookstore. Met up with a friend after that for dinner and catched Kung Panda. The movie was good, but not as good as Shrek 1.
On Sunday, went for fish head noodle brunch with Mum, then accompanied her for grocery shopping. She was contemplating which saloon to go to for haircut. So we went saloon scouting - various locations. In the end, we went to the saloon opened by my childhood friend and got her hair cut by him.
I am curious - if I ever go to him for a hair cut, what hair style will he recommend? I might give it a try the next time I am due for a haircut...
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
You Never Know
"Stop rationalizing, stop stewing. Get up out of your chair and start doing." -- Denis Waitley
"It’s a strange thing, you have said it thousands of times I am sure… you will never know what you can do until you try. However the sad truth is, that most people never try anything until they know they can do it." -- Bob Proctor
"For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been'." -- John Greenleaf Whittier
"It’s a strange thing, you have said it thousands of times I am sure… you will never know what you can do until you try. However the sad truth is, that most people never try anything until they know they can do it." -- Bob Proctor
"For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been'." -- John Greenleaf Whittier
Sunday, June 22, 2008
My ChillOut Weekend
Yesterday I had so much fun at the Miracle 2008- Did attack and jam. During attack, i experienced once again the liberating rush of adrenalin, of giving your all to the workout. All of the regular members were shouting in response to the instructor's inspiring cues. There was so much energy on and off stage...
Was so tempted to do the 8pm Blood-Sweat-Tears as well, but I was rather tired and ended up watching it instead....Joined Elaine & gang for dinner in uptown instead. It was my first time there - the lamb chop and soya bean with grass jelly tasted pretty good.
Today I went to the mall hoping to catch Kungfu panda - wow, the ticketing line was super long. And all the tickets were sold out. Went to the bookshop instead- finished reading the book Peony In Love. It has been so long since I last read fiction; but this one is really really good.
As I was turning the pages, the words formed images so vivid in my mind that it felt as though I was watching a movie. Finished 300+ pages of it finally...hahaha
The next time I am going on leave, I will pick up another book to read - hmm - haven't decided whether it will be a fiction or non fiction one - will just randomly pick up one which suits my fancy :). Till then, Cheers!
Was so tempted to do the 8pm Blood-Sweat-Tears as well, but I was rather tired and ended up watching it instead....Joined Elaine & gang for dinner in uptown instead. It was my first time there - the lamb chop and soya bean with grass jelly tasted pretty good.
Today I went to the mall hoping to catch Kungfu panda - wow, the ticketing line was super long. And all the tickets were sold out. Went to the bookshop instead- finished reading the book Peony In Love. It has been so long since I last read fiction; but this one is really really good.
As I was turning the pages, the words formed images so vivid in my mind that it felt as though I was watching a movie. Finished 300+ pages of it finally...hahaha
The next time I am going on leave, I will pick up another book to read - hmm - haven't decided whether it will be a fiction or non fiction one - will just randomly pick up one which suits my fancy :). Till then, Cheers!
Summer Leap
"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer."
-- Albert Camus
Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.
-- Agnes de Mille (1905-1993)Dancer and choreographer
-- Albert Camus
Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.
-- Agnes de Mille (1905-1993)Dancer and choreographer
Saturday, June 14, 2008
His Last Day
Over the past few days that Godfather's coffin was placed at his home, every night I went to see him and speak to him. Sometimes it was as brief as me telling him my name and that I have come to visit him. Last night, it was a longer conversation.
Last night, I went over to visit him as usual. I recalled & told him the little moments that we used to share together- how much I cherished them. Told him that those moments mean a lot to me, and I do remember them vividly.I told him that I might have never told him verbally how much I love him while he was alive. Told him "But tonight, I want to tell you ..Daddy, I love you".
Today I attended my godfather's funeral.
After seeking approval from Godmum, I took part in the procession as part of the family.
Before the coffin was closed, I hugged Godmum, and went to see him for the last time, together. I told him to rest in peace and promised I will live my life well....
As were were performing the rituals for him, it was drizzling. It was as if the sky is mourning his loss, together with us too.
Holding the joss stick, listening to the nun reciting the mantras, my eyes alternated between the amber of my joss stick and on godfather's photo. As the ambers fell down in ashes onto the floor, I was reminded how fragile life is. My mind went back in time to how we used to be when he was around.
When I was a small girl, he used to wake me up from sleep over the weekends when I have sleepovers at his house. He would be singing songs with glee, indicating that it is time for me to wake up and head to the market with him and godmum for breakfas. I can still see clearly his joy and anticipation as he sings " To market, to market, to buy a fat pig..." He was one of the few people who always find joy in little little things in life.
And he liked to pat my head with affection, (even when I have grown up to be a teenager), singing with Rhyme - Ling Ting Ting... (as my name is Ling...and he came up with the words Ting Ting to make it rhyme..). I guess in Daddy's eyes, I am always his little girl. I was always known as "Lai(4th intonation) Lui" (youngest daughter) rather than "Lai(2nd Intonation) Lui)- babysitted daughter?.
Godmum used to like to make fun of me - whenever she introduced me to friends in the market that I am their Lai(2) Lui, I will proudly and adamantly correct her and said that I am their Lai(4) Lui. And she never fails to laugh with glee to the fact that I insist on being part of their family.
Ah... and whenever I talk about my favourite singers or actors, he will always guess that it is Aaron Kwok, even if I have told him that it is not....And how godmum ALWAYS gently chided him and 'reprimanded' him for not having the correct information.
He was a gentle, patient, and true to his character type of person. Hard to find in today's society...
When my own dad was scolding me for misbehaving, godfather next door will be pacing restlessly and feeling sorry for me...
Godmum related this story to me too- once he was at the coffeeshop having brunch with his usual gang, when my other neighbour were telling the others on the table that her niece has obtained 5A's for SPM. Upon hearing that, he literally jumped out from his seat and went to tell the whole table that HIS Chooi Ling got 10A1s, and reiterated the fact numerous times that it is not just 10A's but it was 10A1's. I can imagine him showing 10 of his fingers animatedly with his eyes wide open, totally oblivious to the fact that his neighbour was probably upset with him having stolen the spotlight of the conversation.
My mind snapped back to the present as I feel the burning heat from the ambers of the jossstick that fell on my hand.
Staring at his picture, it was as though I see him telling me that he loves me so dearly with all his heart and that I should love myself and my life as much and unconditionally as he does too.I heard him asking me -"If I can love you this much, why cant you love yourself this much". I whispered under my breath, "Daddy, I will.
As I was flooded with these thoughts in my mind, tears started rolling down my cheeks again.
It was a windy day today. As the wind blew against my hair, the warm breeze felt as though it was Daddy's hand carressing my hair, patting my head once more.
In my mind, I see godfather telling me, as he plugged away the tubes that has perforated his body ever since he was unwell - he said "Look, now I dont have to use these anymore. I am free and healthy again. I can do the things I love to do!"
And I see mental images of a healthy and happy him doing his favourite things:-Painting the vases and chairs that he can find around his house, somehow always in green paint, in the middle of the day under the hot sun. He has always loved to do this so much. Godmum used to say that he will only pain on hot days, under the hot sun.And he would just laugh and shrugg off the comments.
I see him going to market wearing a red polo shirt with khaki pants. Then somehow he laughed and said it looks old fashioned, and he was dressed in red polo shirt and blue jeans instead. He was going to market for brunch.
I see him dipping bread into his afternoon cup of tea/coffee...and smiling back at me...
For one moment, I felt that although he is no longer here with us in this world, he is free from his sufferrings and pain and will enjoy a healthy and lively life in the Heaven, where he is fit and healthy to do all the things that he loves so dearly. And he will rest in peace. And he is in fact with us, in our hearts always.
Last night, I went over to visit him as usual. I recalled & told him the little moments that we used to share together- how much I cherished them. Told him that those moments mean a lot to me, and I do remember them vividly.I told him that I might have never told him verbally how much I love him while he was alive. Told him "But tonight, I want to tell you ..Daddy, I love you".
Today I attended my godfather's funeral.
After seeking approval from Godmum, I took part in the procession as part of the family.
Before the coffin was closed, I hugged Godmum, and went to see him for the last time, together. I told him to rest in peace and promised I will live my life well....
As were were performing the rituals for him, it was drizzling. It was as if the sky is mourning his loss, together with us too.
Holding the joss stick, listening to the nun reciting the mantras, my eyes alternated between the amber of my joss stick and on godfather's photo. As the ambers fell down in ashes onto the floor, I was reminded how fragile life is. My mind went back in time to how we used to be when he was around.
When I was a small girl, he used to wake me up from sleep over the weekends when I have sleepovers at his house. He would be singing songs with glee, indicating that it is time for me to wake up and head to the market with him and godmum for breakfas. I can still see clearly his joy and anticipation as he sings " To market, to market, to buy a fat pig..." He was one of the few people who always find joy in little little things in life.
And he liked to pat my head with affection, (even when I have grown up to be a teenager), singing with Rhyme - Ling Ting Ting... (as my name is Ling...and he came up with the words Ting Ting to make it rhyme..). I guess in Daddy's eyes, I am always his little girl. I was always known as "Lai(4th intonation) Lui" (youngest daughter) rather than "Lai(2nd Intonation) Lui)- babysitted daughter?.
Godmum used to like to make fun of me - whenever she introduced me to friends in the market that I am their Lai(2) Lui, I will proudly and adamantly correct her and said that I am their Lai(4) Lui. And she never fails to laugh with glee to the fact that I insist on being part of their family.
Ah... and whenever I talk about my favourite singers or actors, he will always guess that it is Aaron Kwok, even if I have told him that it is not....And how godmum ALWAYS gently chided him and 'reprimanded' him for not having the correct information.
He was a gentle, patient, and true to his character type of person. Hard to find in today's society...
When my own dad was scolding me for misbehaving, godfather next door will be pacing restlessly and feeling sorry for me...
Godmum related this story to me too- once he was at the coffeeshop having brunch with his usual gang, when my other neighbour were telling the others on the table that her niece has obtained 5A's for SPM. Upon hearing that, he literally jumped out from his seat and went to tell the whole table that HIS Chooi Ling got 10A1s, and reiterated the fact numerous times that it is not just 10A's but it was 10A1's. I can imagine him showing 10 of his fingers animatedly with his eyes wide open, totally oblivious to the fact that his neighbour was probably upset with him having stolen the spotlight of the conversation.
My mind snapped back to the present as I feel the burning heat from the ambers of the jossstick that fell on my hand.
Staring at his picture, it was as though I see him telling me that he loves me so dearly with all his heart and that I should love myself and my life as much and unconditionally as he does too.I heard him asking me -"If I can love you this much, why cant you love yourself this much". I whispered under my breath, "Daddy, I will.
As I was flooded with these thoughts in my mind, tears started rolling down my cheeks again.
It was a windy day today. As the wind blew against my hair, the warm breeze felt as though it was Daddy's hand carressing my hair, patting my head once more.
In my mind, I see godfather telling me, as he plugged away the tubes that has perforated his body ever since he was unwell - he said "Look, now I dont have to use these anymore. I am free and healthy again. I can do the things I love to do!"
And I see mental images of a healthy and happy him doing his favourite things:-Painting the vases and chairs that he can find around his house, somehow always in green paint, in the middle of the day under the hot sun. He has always loved to do this so much. Godmum used to say that he will only pain on hot days, under the hot sun.And he would just laugh and shrugg off the comments.
I see him going to market wearing a red polo shirt with khaki pants. Then somehow he laughed and said it looks old fashioned, and he was dressed in red polo shirt and blue jeans instead. He was going to market for brunch.
I see him dipping bread into his afternoon cup of tea/coffee...and smiling back at me...
For one moment, I felt that although he is no longer here with us in this world, he is free from his sufferrings and pain and will enjoy a healthy and lively life in the Heaven, where he is fit and healthy to do all the things that he loves so dearly. And he will rest in peace. And he is in fact with us, in our hearts always.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
珍惜生命~Let's Appreciate Life
Today after work, I went home straight for dinner. After dinner, Mum broke the news gently to me.
My godfather has passed away. Immediately at the kitchen counter, I burst out in tears.
Mental images of him raced through my mind, as teardrops pour down my cheeks.
I remember his kindness, his patience, and his love.
He has been sufferring from cancer and secondary infections for some time. Slowly he got thinner and thinner as his appetite for food decrease. Most of the time, he was in pain.
But he never complained at all.
He just took everything in stride and accepted it.
I saw with my own eyes, the love and kindness that his family showered upon him. Everybody was gentle and caring towards the fragile him.
Last Saturday midnight, after coming back from supper with Mum, I saw that Godfather's house was unusually full with relatives. I went over and found him resting on a reclining chair. He didnt look too good - I can almost feel his sufferring and he was semi conscious. At that moment, I was afraid that anything bad may happen to him. He looked like he was having difficulty breathing.
That night, he was sent to the hospital.
He passed away this evening. I am sad that he has left. But on another hand, I feel that it may be best for him, as he has been sufferring far , far too long. His never ending battle with his illness was taking a toil on him.
Tonight also reminds me how often we take the people around us for granted.
Please do not take our own lives for granted. Do not complain about this and that, and forget to be grateful for what we have.
Everyday we wake up with the ability to move, to speak , to hear the birds chirping, to smell the scents of coffee.. all these are the blessings of life which some of us have begun to take for granted.
Lets not wait until it is too late to love the people around us. Express our love today, show that you care. For if you dont, one day it may be just too late.
In retrospect, I am grateful that I had the opportunity to have seen him again last Saturday night. I wish that he may rest in peace, free from pain and sufferrings, ever after.
Daddy, remember that we all love you so, always.
Blog relocated
Decided to move my blog from the original location- tchling.multiply.com to here instead.
Lately the pages at my original blog location seems to take so long to load.
Looking forward to a better experience here!
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